Posted 8 hours ago | 50 notes | Reblog

http://nevergonnawalkpastafez.tumblr.com/post/100450546802/slytherinlock-spankmethorin-slytherinlock

slytherinlock:

spankmethorin:

slytherinlock:

phaserburn:

Friendly reminder that the Hogwarts Houses are not just a fucking personality test they’re an extension of the four vastly different founders political and social values. There are no muggleborn Slytherins because…

Posted 9 hours ago | 361,847 notes | Reblog

theconsultingrenegade:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

image

(Source: meidosuji)

Posted 9 hours ago | 19,886 notes | Reblog

(Source: cruelings)

Posted 9 hours ago | 114,398 notes | Reblog
high resolution →

ectosleuth:

phananigans:

smitethepatriarchy:

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Someone find the gif of that judge going “ooohhhh”

Got it!

image

(Source: odinsblog)

Posted 9 hours ago | 82,699 notes | Reblog

lestatthecupcakeprince:

creppysponge:

blackgirlsparadise:

How….?

STEVEN RUSSELL WAS A FUCKING GENIUS. 

  • Originally arrested for Insurance Fraud, he met the love of his life Phillip Morris in prison
  • He got out before Phillip, so he proceeded to GET PHILLIP OUT OF PRISON
  • He wanted to give Phillip a glamourous life, so he got a big-name job, and then started embezzling funds
  • he was arrested and then broke out TWICE MORE and kept busting out
  • then he was arrested again, and the above happened
  • while he was on the run from this, he was determined to get Phillip (who was in trouble for harboring him) out of prison so he pretended to be a lawyer and hit up Phillip’s jail 24/7. He tried to get Phillip moved to a prison closer to where he was hiding so he couLD VISIT HIM
  • AND THEN he made a fake identity and tried to get a 75k loan, and was arrested AGAIN, but he FAKED A HEART ATTACK AND LEFT BEFORE HE WAS EVEN PLACED IN PRISON AGAIN
  • There’s a movie about his life called “I love you, phillip morris” Starring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor

THAT’S BASED ON A TRUE STORY WHAT

(Source: ultrafacts)

Posted 9 hours ago | 425,709 notes | Reblog
high resolution →

comcasting:

My grandpa texted for the first time in his life today and he spit straight wisdom out of the keyboard

(Source: fandamnghost)

Posted 9 hours ago | 269,373 notes | Reblog
high resolution →

theberlinpaywall:

i have found the most important facebook page

(Source: theb00linpaywall)

Posted 9 hours ago | 14,646 notes | Reblog

killbenedictcumberbatch:

A black boy gets murdered and his community stands up for him and are attacked by police for over 2 months and are deemed animals and violent rioters

white people set cars on fire over some damn pumpkins and get called “rowdy” aint that some shit

Posted 9 hours ago | 362,745 notes | Reblog

theonewhosawitall:

dangerhamster:

(x)

British comedy will always give me a sense of national pride like nothing else can

image

(Source: lovebritishtv)

Posted 9 hours ago | 46,479 notes | Reblog

(Source: aninounettear)

Posted 9 hours ago | 755,228 notes | Reblog

ayyeebeecee:

liltify:

nakeid:

theleatherlook:

smohkist:

voleum:

kisslng:

Brazilian model Alexandre Cunha was paired with a three-year-old moptop to showcase Smalto’s matching child-sized and adult tuxedos. Unfortunately, while the pressure of performing didn’t faze the buff Brazilian, his partner broke down in tears as they were striding the catwalk:

Once, I was supposed to close a show with a 3-year-old kid and we both had matching outfits. During rehearsal, everything went as planned, but on the day of the show he started crying halfway down the runway, so in my head I thought, “What am I supposed to do?!” I ended up picking him up and I carried him to the end of the runway.

THIS IS SO CUTEEEEE

My kind of man

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

OMG LET ME MARRY HIM

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM IN THE BOTTOM ONE OMG GUYS AWWWWWWH

HOW CAN U NOT REBLOG THIS

*crying*

Posted 9 hours ago | 33,978 notes | Reblog

pocket-ferret:

a moment of silence for all the little girls this halloween who had to be anna because their older sister wanted to be elsa

Posted 9 hours ago | 233,562 notes | Reblog

ryaynross:

im laughing so much a group of really loud boys sat down next to us in mcdonalds and one of them just picked up his burger and said to his friends “i bet i can put this whole thing in my mouth” and my mom turned to me and said “well we know who the gay one is” and they heard her and none of them have said a word since

Posted 9 hours ago | 395,691 notes | Reblog

earloffabulousness:

When i was little i wanted to grow up to be a disney princess but im pretty sure i just became Yzma 

image

Posted 9 hours ago | 120,954 notes | Reblog

writer-of-wrongs:

Today my history professor, a rumpled, pot-bellied guy in his mid thirties, walked into class looking all excited, which made the rest of us nervous, because he’s known for pop quizzes. He took a deep breath and said, “I have been waiting for this moment my entire teaching career. So please, pull out your textbooks and…” in a British accent, glowering at us all ferociously, “TURN TO PAGE THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY FOUR.”

We. All. DIED.


I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS.