-Aggresively Plays Violin-

shockingblankets:

When John won’t let him keep body parts in the fridge

When Mycroft won’t leave

When Anderson says anything

aj-watson:

heyassbuttyourethepotatoone:

The first time you see it, it can hit you really hard, especially since Sherlock is on a total roll and John delivers the line “please God, let me live” in a way where you can be forgiven for not being sure if it’s serious or snark. It apparently has the same effect on Sherlock, as well.

We never do get any details on how Captain John Watson of the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers was wounded in action. But from this exchange alone, it’s clear the situation was extremely serious. He was badly wounded, nearly died, and developed PTSD- Sherlock had himself earlier pointed out that the original circumstances of John’s injury must have been ‘traumatic’, and he meant emotionally traumatic, not just violent and painful. The blunt earnestness of John’s response even trips up Sherlock for a second or two, and he’s just been ranting and raving about not understanding why a woman would care about her stillborn baby after fourteen years. This also works as a tearjerker in hindsight if you recall ‘Please God, let me live’ whenever John is genuinely in physical danger elsewhere in the series.

Pretty much everyone in the room agrees that in your last moments, you would think about the people you love the most. John apparently had no one to think about when he was close to dying. He really must have been lonely even before he returned from Afghanistan.

I hate you for making this post because it’s the best I’ve read on this subject and it hurts.

(Source: thedoctorsjawn)

shooting-stetsons:

buttergin:

sherlockismyholmesboi:

theinsultingdetective:

somepeoplesayimpotato:

whatsbadwolf:

idk why but i’m picturing him on the train going to hogwarts

WHAT IF HE IS A PROFESSOR AT HOGWARTS

Finally, a decent Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

oh god yes

John is the new flying instructor and Quidditch referee, who retired from his professional Quidditch career after some kind of accident

Lestrade is the Transfiguration teacher

Molly is a nurse

Jim teaches Potions 

Anderson and Donovan are the annoying as fuck prefects

Mycroft holds a minor position in the Ministry of Magic

Boom. Someone fic this. 

It seemed to be some sort of tradition that Hogwarts had to have at least one professor no one could stand. Before, when Harry Potter was around, it was the infamous Professor Snape. After that, there had been an Arithmancy professor named Wiggins who was so unbearable that most students blocked him out of their memories completely. Now there was Holmes.

He wasn’t so bad - at least according to the girls who sighed and fawned over him. And some of the boys. Certainly enough, Holmes was good looking, but that seemed to be a running trend among the staff lately. Professor Lestrade, in Transfiguration, couldn’t go more than an afternoon without a student coming in for extra practice, usually with form. Professor Watson, who doubled as flying instructor and the dueling team’s coach, had more broomstick and wand jokes aimed at him than anyone cared to hear in a lifetime. But he had an easygoing personality that made him easy to joke around with. Even the teensy-bit unbalanced potions master, Professor Moriarty, had a sort of deranged charm to him, and Nurse Molly was sweet and remembered all her patients’ names.

There was no longer a curse on the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, but after the first week with Holmes, most students wished it would come back. He showed up five minutes late for the first lesson and then burst in with a swish of his trailing cloak, mouth going at a thousand miles a minute.

“Wands out, everyone, and you’d better behave responsibly if you’ve been trusted with them for three years. That means no poking, no unauthorized spells, and no being idiots, understand? Most professors like to say there’s no such thing as a stupid question - I disagree; there are a lot of stupid questions, especially if you don’t listen. Take every word I say as gospel and don’t fall asleep or I’ll throw the nearest projectile, and don’t think I’ll pity you if you can’t deflect it in time. There will be no skiving off, because I’ll know if you’re lying, and random pop quizzes through the term. We’ll start with Shield Charms, something even the most inadequate first-years can grasp, shall we?”

Even if he hadn’t talked to them like babies at the end, everyone hated him.

Holmes was never happy with anyone, never smiled, and never gave praise, even if a student did something truly brilliant and inspired with his lessons. The closest he would get at complimenting someone was to lean back in his chair, feet on the desk, and say, “You could have done worse, I suppose. At least you didn’t kill me.” He only ever looked interested when a student lipped off in class or Professor Lestrade showed up for a word.

That was another funny thing about Professor Holmes. He liked mysteries, but not in the way that most people liked mysteries. He solved them, even mundane ones like missing magical creatures that escaped into the forest, or students who cheated on their exams. Professor Lestrade seemed to have a lot of trouble with cheaters, and Holmes always found them, which only made the student body resent him even further.

His pursuits brought him to dueling club practice one day, where for the first time he met Professor Watson. The moment he entered the practice room a hush fell over the students, causing Watson to look up in alarm; they all knew that one of their number was going to get in big trouble.

“So, the best technique would be to - guys?” asked Watson, turning to see Holmes in the door. His eyebrows rose. “Oh, Professor Holmes, what a pleasant surprise. Are you here for a lesson?”

There were scattered giggles around the room as Holmes scowled. By then it was common knowledge that, though he was a genius in almost every other respect, Holmes was a terrible duelist. “Actually, I was going to correct your form,” he retorted.

Hushed “Ooooh”s spread across the room. Watson smirked slightly. “Really? And what’s wrong with it?”

“It’s - ah - crooked.”

“Crooked?”

More giggles. “Perhaps it could be more improved if you didn’t have a psychosomatic limp.”

“Pardon?”

“You heard me loud and clear. Your limp is psychosomatic. It’s all in your head.”

“And what does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing, really. But I bet you ten Galleons I can fix it.”

“Oh, really?”

“Flipendo!”

Watson dodged immediately away and shot back a spell of his own. They weren’t even on the dueling tarmac, and students had to quickly back away against the walls as the fight very quickly got messy. Holmes either didn’t know the rules of dueling or disregarded them completely, amplifying his voice and shrieking or shooting off blinding sparks to disorient Watson before shooting a curse. Though even then Professor Watson managed to keep the fight even.

With an almost lazy flick of his wand the spells momentarily stopped flying, and Watson snapped, “This isn’t exactly a fair fight, Professor.”

The taller man grinned. “Oh, come on, Professor, even your Muggle sister could do better after indulging her alcoholism.”

Watson dropped his wand and charged at him. For a moment Holmes’ eyes widened with pure panic before immobilizing Watson with a leg-locker jinx. He knelt at his colleague’s side, handing back his wand. “I told you it was in your head,” he smirked before getting up again to point at Miranda Hodgins. “You. With me to the Headmaster’s office, now.”

He swept out, with Miranda timidly following and the remaining students in awe. Watson reversed the jinx and gaped after Holmes while absently stretching his leg. Holmes was right; he hadn’t limped at all during the fight.

Most students thought the professors would hate one another on principle after that incident, and were taken by surprise when the pair were practically inseparable from that moment on.

(Source: benedict--cumberbatch)

john&sherlock | breathe me (by egoscsajszy)

Here’s a little something to induce ugly sobbing.

sherlock/john || thousand years (by lollimaki)

Sherlock ♣ Hey Na Na (by JennaBlack7)

Sherlock - Hero (Sherlock/Watson) (by Riona489)

thatbritishmancunian:

Saw this on memebase..

Had to share it

(Source: eggs-stir-minute-eight)

And I can’t help

Falling in love with you.

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too) - Sherlock & John (by ILoveThesePeople) 

carrotcakebandit:

lenneonme:

enolise:

ceilingtheo:

After the most recent episode, I basically just decided that (while in my fanon mind John and Sherlock fuck like rabbits) my interpretation of them in canon is:

• John is a bi-romantic heterosexual
• Sherlock is a bi- or homo-romantic asexual
• They are in love with each other
• (and kind of in a relationship)
• Neither of them realizes any of this, because both of them base their interpretation of their orientation on the sexual side of it alone

So John keeps dating women, because he self defines as heterosexual, and keeps trying to assert that to himself. But because he’s monoamourous and is already in love with Sherlock, he just can’t make it work with any of the women he dates at all.

Sherlock, on the other hand, figured out he wasn’t interested in sex around the time everyone else in his age group got interested in it and he found the whole thing terribly tedious. He probably doesn’t even self-identify as asexual, because he doesn’t care enough about that sort of thing to bother labelling it. And then, because he’s already categorised any sort of couple relationship as sexual and therefore boring, and because he very rarely comes across anyone he considers worth spending any of his time with anyway, he doesn’t really realise he is capable of romantic attraction, either. He has so little experience of having friends that when John comes along he doesn’t have a comparison to realise that their relationship is romantic rather than purely friendship.

Which is why everyone keeps pointing out that they’re a couple, but both of them just react by thinking “No, because we’re not having sex.” rather than noticing that they are in love with each other.

Perfection!

Yes.

Can’t we all just agree this is canon already?

(Source: movieandtvshowgifs)

Accurate.

99 problems and a bitch ain’t one. Oh, Anderson, you poor wretched thing.

the men of sherlock bbc | 99 problems (by Deductism)

frozen-days-we-set-ablaze:

books-in-the-tardis:

vindictivevendetta:

lestradessnifferdog:

timey-wimey-jammy-wammy:

highfunctioning-homosapien:

mynameisgrey:

 

Moriarty’s Pumped Up Kicks

A parody, if it wasn’t obvious. I had a lot of fun making this.

Lyrics:

I know you’ve got a quick mind
You’ll look around the room, who knows what you’ll find?
See, you’ve got quite a pet
Hangin’ off your arm, perfect target
 
And now, you can’t hide or run
You’ve gone too far, but we’ll have some fun
And you won’t even know what
What’s comin’ for you, I’m comin’ for you, yeah
 
 
All the other feet
Out on London’s streets
Better run, better run
Outrun my gun
If you want your feet
Back on Baker Street
Better solve, better solve
Faster than my snipers
 
All the other kids
with their crimes undid
better hush, better hush
don’t speak my name
But now I’ve got to bid
Thirty million quid
just to get, just to get
you playin’ my game
 
Sherlock works a long day
He’s comin’ home late, he’s comin’ home late
And he’s bringin’ me a surprise
Bruce-Partington plans on a flash drive
 
I’ve waited for a long time
The slight of my hand is now a troop of snipers
I reason with your little pet
I’ll set your heart on fire, gonna burn it out, yeah
 
All the other feet
Out on London’s streets
Better run, better run
Outrun my gun
If you want your feet
Back on Baker Street
Better move, better move
Faster than my snipers
 
Thought that I was dull
But I’m changeable
Get away, get away
Wish you’d stop tryin’
Maybe now your fate
We’ll negotiate
‘Cause, come on, it’s for John
Now can’t you stop pryin’?
 
But the flirting’s over, Sherlock, daddy’s had enough now. I’ve shown you what I can do, I cut loose all those people, all those little problems, even 30 million quid just to get you to come out and play. So take this as a friendly warning… my dear. Back off. Although, I have loved this — this little game of ours, playing Jim from IT, playing gay. Did you like the little touch with the underwear?
 
All the other feet
Out on London’s streets
Better run, better run
Outrun my gun
If you want your feet
Back on Baker Street
Better move, better move
Faster than my snipers
 
All the other feet
Out on London’s streets
Better run, better run
Outrun my gun
If you want your feet
Back on Baker Street
Better move, better move
Faster than my snipers
 
No one gets to me
Not to Moriarty
But you’re close, very close
Knew you had it in you
Oh, it’s such a shame
That our little game
Has to come to an end,
You just can’t continue

Ahahhsjsajsjjshsbsjaka MY FAVOURITE SONG ATM. I love you.

Good god. This is incredible. TTuTT

….Sorry what? Sorry, I was LOST IN THE AWESOME THAT IS THIS SONG. ASDFGHJKL

YES GOOD

YESSSSSSSSSS

THIS IS SO AMAZING. It’s so close to the original that I was able to sing along with  it without ever hearing this version before. YOU, MA’AM, HAVE WON

Fuck it. You can have all the awards. Take them. All of them.